Why I Hate You and Why It’s a Good Thing

One thing’s for sure...being an entrepreneur isn’t for the faint of heart.

There are so many false starts.

There are the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

This is why I always say being an entrepreneur is exactly like being a performer.

Around Thanksgiving, I decided to plan December as “the month of desires.” One of my desires was to give away free coaching. You heard that right...FREE 60 minute coaching session. I started offering these free sessions to 30 people I know personally who are in the same demographic. Not a single person took me up on my offer. Absolutely NO ONE.

I had a moment of “I hate you all!” Wtf! It was a pity party for one.

But then, I remembered what Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, said: “With every failure comes with it a seed of its equivalent or greater advantage.”

I’ve done enough work on myself to know that this “failure” is merely a temporary defeat. Instead of quitting or beating myself up over zero response, I said to myself and my husband, “There is a lesson to learn here.”

I realized that the people I was reaching out to are not the people I need to be reaching out to. I can still love them. I can still root for their success, but they are not MY people. I know the difference. MY people absolutely love working with me. They appreciate me and my work. They are real go-getters! They are focused on creating something much bigger than just themselves and their daily survival needs.

My people, the people I need to be reaching out to, are thinking about their legacy.

Yes, you heard that right, LEGACY. That’s how much they fuckin’ rock! My people have big DREAMS, DESIRES, and GOALS. My people do not accept the status quo, and they work towards what they truly desire to create in the world. AND, my clients know they can’t achieve that level of success alone. They need a team, and they see me as a vital member of their team.

Don’t get me wrong. The revelation about “my people” didn’t flow as smoothly as these words are flowing now. It’s been a pretty painful journey to get to this point. Again…very much like a performing career. Always hustlin’, or as my friend Scott says, “Dancin’ for Grandma!”

It’s been painful to realize that once again I was willing to accept crumbs from people who want nothing to do with me. It’s been painful to admit that as spiritual as I am and as much as I truly believe in and coach on co-creating with Source that I wasn’t following my own advice, beliefs, and teachings.

There are two stories that came to mind this morning....

The first one is about a small fly trapped inside a house trying to find its way out by futilely trying to fly through the window pane. Obviously, it’s not working. But the fly tries harder and harder and harder. Banging and banging and banging against the window. TRY HARDER! The fly is doomed. Destined to die on the windowsill. It’s painful to admit I was the fly.

 The other story is about a gold miner who walked away and quit on his dreams of striking it

rich because he couldn’t find any more gold. He was certain where it was so he dug and dug

but came up empty-handed. Defeated, he sold all of his equipment and went back east empty-handed. The person he sold his stuff to hired a geologist to help him find the gold vein. Turns out the miner had only been three feet from the hold. He was three feet from the gold. Three feet! He was off by just three feet.

I know in my heart that I have been three feet away from finding ALL of my people. That is why persistence is key. That’s why never quitting is non-negotiable. That is why course-correcting is essential.

With my newly-focused determination, I sat down with my coffee to start my daily spiritual routine. The first thing I did was pull three tarot cards. I have Colette Baron-Reid’s beautiful “Wisdom of The Oracle” stack. I felt called to pull cards today. I simply asked Spirit, aka

Source, “Tell me what I need to know about my ideal client.”

The first card I pulled was an upside-down “co-create” card. The first card is about my clients in the past. I was already feeling a surge just from pulling this card, and it jumped out on the table for me. The essential meaning of this card is creativity, art, inspiration, fruition, manifestation.  Anytime you receive an upside-down card it signifies a card of protection.

Here is the protection message for this card:

You are trying too hard to create all that you desire, without the nurturing, vital house of Spirit. Perhaps you are in a creative slump and suffering writer’s block. It goes on to say

Inspiration means the drawing in of Divine guidance. Inspiration will flow through you as soon as you get out of your own way. WHOA! Maybe all of those “NOs” was just a mirror to my own resistance. Maybe they were there all this time to show me how I need to do things differently and get out of my own fuckin’ way. Damn…

The second card I pulled was an upside-down “New Life” card. Upside down AGAIN! This card is about the present. Its essential meanings are the birth of new ideas, growth, opportunities, a breath of fresh air, and life renewing itself.

The protection message is:

You must acknowledge your inexperience and gently allow yourself to be like the delicate new bud opening. You are at the beginning of things and haven’t hit yet hit your stride. Be immersed in the newness of it all and don’t try to rush the learning process. New life has its own timetable for maturity. Be here now. Life loves you.

Again, WHOA! I have been really thinking and talking with my team about the universal law of rhythm. That law states that everything has a season. I even said to my team, we are in the SPRING season. We are sowing seeds. This card tells me to surrender to the fact that I truly am in spring. This season doesn’t last forever. Be present. Enjoy the journey and stop trying to force it to be something else.

Okay, okay. I am getting the message. So what does the last card hold?!

The last card is for the future, and I pulled the “Regeneration” card. UPSIDE DOWN! Its essential meanings are rebirth, second chances, and new opportunities.

The protection message is:

Endings come in many forms, and now is the time to stop holding on to what must die…so that something better can take its place. Nature’s cycles include disease, decay, death, and regeneration. Let whatever isn’t working in your life die. Don’t be afraid to face the facts. There is no need to struggle or grieve. Whatever your query, let it go. You’re about to be reborn.

WHOOOOOOOOA!

So it’s time for me to lighten my load, open up so that Source can step in and co-create with me instead of me trying to do it alone.

 It’s also time for me to go where I am wanted and not where I’m needed. Because they’re not the same. It’s time for me to let the old life die.

Is it scary?! A little bit, because even though it’s been painful, it’s also been comfortable. It’s what I know, but…I’m tired. Tired of running into the window, looking for a way out, tired of working harder. Tired of accepting crumbs.

So to all of those people who didn’t accept my generosity, I say thank you! You did me a solid. It’s time for me to move on. It’s time to connect even deeper to my oneness with Source, continue sowing my seeds, and let die what no longer serves me.

Much Love & Abundance,

Keenah 💋